Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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God

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pizzano is a tool.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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