A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Penis

What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

I have read the Terms of Service.

So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

hi

What do u call old black people in a shed? antique farm equiptment

whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

potato

What's funnier than 24? 25

what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

Womens rights.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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