God.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I don't care

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

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A ginger rapping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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