What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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Why did the Black Man only eat one apple a day? He was trying to stay healthy. On an unrelated note he was under the poverty line, and addicted to an illegal substance. He does not represent African-American society very well.

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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What is Jason? Black.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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