A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops