Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

A pope meets another one

Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

roses are red poo is poo

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

whos on the right track? lady gaga

p

Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...