professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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I have no joke. u mad?

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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Carlton

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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