Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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Your Mom The End.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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