Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why are you gay? Because ***** you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

thumb_up thumb_down +23

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops