Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +34

shabalabadingdong JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What makes the world go round? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is bad at catch The twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Like my status for a tbh?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops