What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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save me from the nothing ive become

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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