What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Democracy.

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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