A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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Hi my name is Bob

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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my names jim haha

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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