Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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