Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops