Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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* two sisters are making yo mam jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

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i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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