Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

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What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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