What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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Whats smarter you or the person writing this? -The answer is that i said whats smarter not whose smarter so I am smarter because you had no clue this was point less pie

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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men's rights.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

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whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

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Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

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So, a giraffe walks into a bar and orders six martinis and shame on for wanting a punch line this giraffe needs help.

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A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

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What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

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How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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