What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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What did Frieza say to Vegeta after killing his parents? "I killed your parents."

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square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

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why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree? nothing but oca mom is going to be pissed that her kids are nailed to a tree

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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Why did Edna fall off a cliff? Edna is blind, and so lacks the visual perception and spatial awareness of other hillwalkers.

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Mitt Romney penis

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In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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