Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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Men's Sports

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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