What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

A:why did sam fall of the wing ? B:why ? A:she had no arms. B:... A:knock knock. B: who is there ? A:not sam

What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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