Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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Leave her alone...

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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Yo mamma so mexican she brought tacos to the dinner table

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Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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Pickles

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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