roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

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Anti-joke.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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