A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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