You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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