A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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