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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

Sarah Palin's political campaign

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

people magazine

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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