You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops