why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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what's worse than finding 8 dead babies in 1 trash can?....... 1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

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field day?

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Women's rights

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There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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