What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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http://www.com/

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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