Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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I love alchohol!

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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What did the biological child say to his adopted sister? We are both loved equally by our parents.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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Your mom is so hairy... it doesn't even seem like she underwent chemotherapy for her breast cancer a few months ago.

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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