why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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... Chan chan

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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