yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

tuna fish dolphins sharks idk

yo mama is so fat she has to wear large sized clothing

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

A hitman and his target walked in the same bar togather what happend? nothing because a hitman has better things to do and the target would lay low.

What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

Why do so many Koreans go to medical school? Practicing medicine is a rewarding and respected career.

Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

Knock, Knock ...

Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

How can you tell if a joke is skept? Tell it to raysean and see if he laughs

what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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