Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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shut up iggy

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

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Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops