Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

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what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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A Brunette a ginger and a blonde were getting their hair done? WHich side of the bus did they sit on? Why did i put a question mark on the first part?

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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Answer The Following!! Q: How Do You Kill Bee?? Q: What Do You Call A Bee Who Live In America?? Q: Why Don't You Give Elsa A Balloon??

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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