A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the man say when he lost all his hair? Man: My life has been getting worse and worse ever since I developed cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A: B: No pun intended.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops