- Anti Joke

Why is Roenz Gay? He isnt.

After saving my own life after killing my father, and saved my wife by killing my mother I feel free from their burden on my shoulders and am ready to face life... Yet in the back of my skull I keep thinking "After this anti-joke of a life, I wonder what`s next"... ...And HELL I AM READY FOR WHATEVER COMES! I SAVED MY OWN LIFE BY KILLING MY FATHER, I SAVED MY WIFE BY KILLING MY MOTHER (and breaking the wrists and legs kneecaps of her "boyfriend" as he attacked me, My father broke a vertebrae in my neck which has left my back twisted and in constant pain, my mother chopped of my arm when I was six and proceeded to beat the shit out of me with it leaving me with an ortopedic arm! WHAT THE FUCK COULD TAKE ME DOWN NOW? WHAT THE FUCK CAN STOP THE DEMON THAT IS LEFT IN ME! So MERRY Mtherfcking Christmas... My wife`s mother gave me 3000 dollars for christmas (deposited in account already) while my parents FORGOT my birthdays, and "forgot" to get me anything for christmas WHILE STILL GIVING MY BROTHER CHECKS AND PLANE TICKETS FOR HIM (AND HIS FRIENDS! Not me) FOR CHRISTMAS! They did however always invite me to my brothers birthday... Which is EXACTLY TEN DAYS AFTER MINE! I STOPPED REMINDING THEM OF THAT after they not only beat the SHIT out of me and WATERBOARDED me for reminding them... But also forgot it already the VERY NEXT DAY! They "bought" me christmas presents after I began working... WITH MY OWN MONEY! Not only that but they would get me a gift of 50 bucks while drawing out several thousand dollars from my account! SOME XMAS GIFT! Then my father faked my signature and withdrew 30.000 dollars from my savings... So a strange, salt liquid substance is dropping from my eyes as I actually get money and not permanent scars and crippling injuries while getting mugged from my mother in law instead... Which proves (at least to my psychiatric evaluator) that I am not insane nor a psychopath, but a caring guy with a fucked up life... Make no mistake though, step on my foot, and I will break yours and stick them up your ass... I am fucking scared of joining my wife and her family for christmas dinner, but what I fear today is bullshit compared to the torture which was my life until it was discovered that I was covering up for my mothers cocaine abuse and I was finally released from prison... (which was a great stay which I volutarily took as was 17 year old to get away from my mother). SO MERRY FUCKlNG XMAS EVERYBODY! Nero "Moral Man" aka Black Metal. My followers no longer call me twisted metal after hearing why I killed my "mommy and daddy". I am done with my rant, the nightmares might continue, but at least the age where I long for them rather than facing reality are over, so no more stories about how I broke my fathers skull and chocked my mother (one handed, remember the other is and ortopedic one because she chopped it off)... Nah, that is in my past. Judge me, hate me, find me and challenge me for a fight (rather do not) but dont tell me I am not metal as fuck. Oh and thumb me down, no seriously it makes me cry, yeeeeeees of course, seriously! Dont make me laugh... And I am a lawyer... Classes in prison (got an extended sentence for killing two guys there because they where going to rape me) So the future looks no darker than the future of a lawyer once again looking for a job... Nice try fucking me over family...

whats softer than a furry blanket an indian

what's worst than being gay? being black

What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

Knock knock. after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

A women's opinion.

How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

Womens Rights.

Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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