What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

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roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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Yes.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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So a seal walks into a club..

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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