What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A chinese man walks into a bar, and he see's his friends they are black, mexican, white, and paki. This is their meeting place for their group on racial equality.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a bad skydiver and a bad golfer? The bad golfer looses the game, drives home, and falls asleep. The bad skydiver dies in a terrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I'm a raging homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops