Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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i put the STD in S.T.u.D all i need is U!!! F_CK all i need is U!!!!!!! o.0 lolzzz

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

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Scientology.

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whats worse than seeing a repeated anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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JUSTIN BIEBER PERFUME!

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

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im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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thumbs up!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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