A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

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you will now laugh.

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Women's Rights.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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What did the mute person say to the deaf person? Nothing.

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure Niiiiggggeeee what is the last letterThe last letter is NOT and R! Its an R. Good job honey

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What's Brown and Sticky? A stick.

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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