Weiner

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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A man walks into a bar and talks with his friends. One of his friends said " Hey, who farted?" When the bar closed, Joe realized it was he who farted.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Thanks

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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Hope you all drop the soap in prison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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