A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

dead battery come on down

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops