A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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