A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

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"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

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Yes. Just Yes.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

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A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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