Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

. . I am a whale

knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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