i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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=3

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops