Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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