- Anti Joke

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

A muslim walks into a gun shop

roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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