Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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osama bin laden is dead

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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